Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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