Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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