dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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