she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
