dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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