: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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