i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
