why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
