Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
