i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
