i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
