I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
