If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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