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awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
