What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
