why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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