Please, let me fuck your mom
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
