is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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