I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
my poor anus
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
