so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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