p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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