NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
this will be a night to untag.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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