and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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