EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
