I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
