Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
