i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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