I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
