Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Let's paint friendship bongs
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
