no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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