??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
In America we eat man semen.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
