i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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