i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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