these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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