I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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