hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He passed out mid-signature
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
