a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
