I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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