Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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