My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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