Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
