i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
