Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
