Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Screwed.edu
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
