im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
