I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
