dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Michael Bay diarrhea
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Randomize
