can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
