i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
