Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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