I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
