My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So vagazzling was a success
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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